Friends Kiss Each Other On The Lips
by OriksGaming
Summary: In which Obito shows Naruto-like levels of obliviousness and it saves the day.


**Friends Kiss Each Other On The Lips**

Summary: In which Obito shows Naruto-like levels of obliviousness and it saves the day.

* * *

"Wait, Minato-Sensei? You're married?" It probably wasn't the best thing Obito could have said in that situation. But it wasn't his fault- yes, he'd been informed that the Kyuubi jinchuuriki was going to be having a baby and that it would be the best time to attempt to wrest control of the Kyuubi from Konoha. But he hadn't been told that the Fourth Hokage was the kid's father.

Back when he'd been on a genin team under his sen- the Fourth Hokage, Minato had been like the number one bachelor. There'd been absolutely no signs that he'd been dating, or even interested in anyone.

Well, other than the fact that Sen- the Fourth Hokage had, more than once, shown up to practice or a mission with his hair all out of place, and these weird bug bites on his neck. Which, on second thought, were probably hickeys. In Obito's defense, Konoha was a heavily forested area and it wasn't like there was a shortage of bugs. He'd just assumed that his sen- the Fourth Hokage had been particularly unlucky in avoiding them.

And then there'd been Rin- shy, sensitive Rin, who would sometimes have very animated discussions with their sen- the Fourth Hokage while Kakashi was beating hi- while he and Kakashi were training.

And then Kakashi, who'd been practically adopted by Minato-Sensei(no-he's-the-Fourth-Hokage-get-it-right), would occasionally show up to practice with a haunted look in his eyes. Which now made sense, if Sensei- wait, the Fourth Hokage- had been up all night, or at least most of it, with the redhead- Kushi something- who was purportedly a spitfire.

And then Jiraiya, the Fourth Hokage(Minato-Sensei, get it right. Wait, the Fourth Hokage _is_ right. Ugh.)'s sensei, a known and self proclaimed super pervert, had occasionally congratulated Minato-Sensei(the Fourth Hokag- oh, forget it) for absolutely no reason. And then Minato-Sensei, kind and understanding and never actually angry Minato-Sensei, would glare at Jiraiya. Then the perverted Sannin would blanch and leave very soon after, running like Madara was after him.

And, Obito thought, the redhead had shown up at practice once or twice, but he'd thought she was just some nameless friend of Minato's. He'd been much more interested in trying to beat- no, in beating Kakashi, 'cause he totally won those spars . . . yeah, right.

Friends held hands, right? And friends hugged each other really tightly. And friends totally stared at each other with a dopey look on their faces. And friends totally kissed each other on the cheek. And on the lips- wait a second.

In retrospect, Obito felt a little foolish for not noticing it, but, in his defense, he'd only been a genin. They weren't exactly credited for their observational skills. Rin was an anomaly, but that could be excused because Obito knew that all girls had a super powerful romance radar.

Still . . . Minato-Sensei was married?

* * *

Minato stared the man for a second. Had he really just said Minato-Sensei? He knew for a fact that the man wasn't Kakashi, and Rin was already dead, as much as he didn't like to think about it. So that left . . . "Obito?"

The man- boy, really- didn't respond. He seemed to have gone into shock for some reason or another. Minato very carefully approached the man, and, when the man made no move to stop him, grabbed Naruto.

"Obito?" Minato tried again. And again, there was no response. He shrugged somewhat bemusedly before laying a hand on Obito(?)'s shoulder. "Let's go get you some . . . help."

He half guided, half tugged Obito over to Kushina before kneeling down next to her.

"On three," Minato said, gesturing towards the seal. Kushina nodded to show that she understood. "One." And then he sealed the nine-tails before she had a chance to tense up. He wasn't sure how that would have affected the experience but it was better safe than sorry, especially since Kushina was generally terrible with hospitals and anything to do with them. Aside from a loud grunt, Kushina didn't show any indication of how painful it had been.

"Kushina?" Minato asked, standing up. Luckily, it seemed like Kushina wasn't too mad at him, but she'd probably still bring it up a lot. 'Minato has terrible bedside manners.' and 'Did I get any special treatment right after giving birth? No.' and 'Minato, you remember that one time that you tricked me right after I gave birth? You do? Good. Then you won't have any problem with doing *various unsavory things* to make up for it, will you?'

"Yes, Dear?" Minato was a little surprised that she was still awake after giving birth and then having the nine-tails resealed, but not that much. It was Kushina, after all, and there was no way she would let something like unconsciousness keep her from seeing her baby.

"I'm going to be visiting Inoichi for a bit. Do you think you'll be okay here?"

"I'll be fine," she said placidly- for her, "if you give me Naruto."

"Oh, right," Minato said. "Say hello to your mother, Naruto." He stepped over to Kushina, before kneeling down and letting her take their son.

Minato nodded in satisfaction as both Naruto and Kushina started cooing at each other; he had a strong feeling that Naruto would take after his mother in terms of personality, if not in looks.

"Come on, Obito," Minato said, returning to his wayward student and once again placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Minato-Sensei?" Obito murmured, still looking completely out of it.

"That's right," Minato said. "Let's get you to a therapist- home. I meant home."

Luckily, Obito was still completely out of it and didn't notice his slip.

In fact, Obito took almost two hours to wake from his self induced semi-coma.

And then they all lived happily ever after- with lots of group therapy.


End file.
